Neanderthal
by Calista Angora
Summary: CavemanZero SLASH!
1. ONE

I know she's making ANOTHER slash? She hasn't even finished with the other yet? Oh my god... is she talking in third person? Well... it's yet another SLASH and yes Jessica is talking in third person, and she says she doesn't care what you people think, isn't that right my precious little Twitch?  
  
Twitch: *blinks and shudders* Wow! Look, it's a car! *Pointing at car outside on the street.  
  
Jessica: *cartoon sweat drop*  
  
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Dedication:: TEXASVolcano. You suck ass. Major ass.  
  
Disclaimer:: I don't own Holes. Never have, never will. Oh well... a girl can dream, can't she? One day I'm going to like BUY Twitch from that man... or maybe I'll steal him? : -D  
  
Contact:: Currently, there are FIVE ways to contact me, meaning THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULDN'T!!! Firstly, you can review here, that is the most common way. Or I can be AOL instant messaged at *I Hug Squirrels*, without the stars. If you don't have aim, then you can email me at Happysushi1353@yahoo.com. Otherwise, feel free to comment in my Dead journal (link on bio) or Neo-Mail me, at neopets.com.  
  
Date Typed:: February 14... HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!  
  
Warnings:: SLASH... as usual...  
  
Pairings:: Caveman/Zero  
  
Ratings:: This chapter will be PG-13, and maybe about chapter 4 or 5 I'll make it R.  
  
Authors Note:: I got muses now! Or, I should say, *a* muse. It's TWITCH! Yay! I haven't seen many Twitch muses, so I thought WHY NOT? So he is mine... well I guess I can share, but HE SLEEPS IN MY BED! Haha! That was a joke, but anyway... Thanks for reading and be sure to review! By the way, This is Stanley/Zero!  
  
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His perfect head of hair bounced as he stomped the shovel further into the ground, grunting at the effort. Stanley started at the little dude's head and seemed to drift off into space. They had just started digging and already his back was aching. Thinking of Zero was reliving his thoughts of pain and dirt.  
  
"Yo Caveman, what's up with you?" asked Zig Zag, sitting on the edge of his hole, "You're like 3 feet deep. Something bugging ya Neanderthal?"  
  
"Nah. I'm okay," Stanley said, avoiding his eyes.  
  
He didn't want Zig knowing about his fascination with boys all of a sudden. What did he mean all of a sudden? Ever since he had seen Zero, Stanley had wanted to run his hands through his hair, kiss him, and tell him he meant something. He hadn't been able to though, especially after all the conversations he had participated in with the other guys about girls.  
  
"Caveman, water trucks here!" called Squid, standing and blocking the sun for a few glorious seconds before helping him out of his hole.  
  
"Yo Zero, dawg get some water!" yelled Armpit, picking Zero up by the collar and tossing him into his place in line.  
  
Stanley wanted to say something, to kick the shit out of Armpit for doing this to Zero, but nobody could know abut his feelings. So he sat silently and eyed Zero through his eyelashes.  
  
"Stanley, I have a letter for you." Said Mom, handing him a thick, yellowed envelope with his mother delicate scrawling on the front, along with a rose stamp.  
  
"Ah Caveman got a letter from his mommy!" called Squid, trying to snatch it from his hands.  
  
"Aw! Do you miss mommy? Is she too far away for baby STANLEY?" cooed Zig Zag, grabbing the letter and reading the first part, "Dearest Stanley, AW! Look! DEAREST STANLEY!"  
  
"Give it back!" Caveman yelled, reaching for it.  
  
"Jump! Jump little STANLEY!"  
  
"Come on Zig, stop being a dick and give his damn letter so mom don't start yellin at all of us. Don't want that, do we now RICKY?"  
  
x-ray's voice dripped with authority and Zig Zag handed the paper back to Caveman. X walked back to his hole, Zig to his. Stanley sat in his, gazing at the back of Zero head and wondering why everyone hated him so much.  
  
_*_*_*_  
  
That night in the tent Zero was practicing his writing, he stared at the paper, straining to see in the dim flash light glow. Z. E. R. O. I. N. And then came another I. Next, he wrote his first name. H. E. C. T. O. R. He was getting ready to start writing his middle name when Caveman sat up.  
  
"Zero?" he whispered, standing up and squinting.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Caveman tip toed over to his friend and sat on his cot. He leaned over to see what he was writing and smiled to see that he was practicing his writing again.  
  
"Need any help?"  
  
"Can you give me some more words to learn?" Zero asked, scooting closer and handing Caveman and extra pencil.  
  
"Sure."  
  
He took the pencil and wrote some words. GAME, TYPE, QUIT, FREE, DIRT, LATE, BITE, JUMP, SWEAR and COPY. Then, he handed the list to Zero, and told him to write each word three times. While leaning to help, he noticed Zero was smelly. Not in the repulsive way like Armpit, but for some odd reason he smelled like ivory and coffee mixed together. He hovered for a second, enjoying the tingling sensation and the warm feelings before realizing tha this could be noticed by any time by Zero. He sunk back into a sitting position.  
  
"You good?" he asked.  
  
Zero nodded in response so he headed back to his cot.  
  
"G. A. M. E."  
  
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Well what did you think? My first one of these two characters. I still favor Ziggy/Squid. Gimmie response, I hope to hear from you all soon, keep reviewing cuz you know I love ya!  
  
Twitch: Why wasn't *I* in here? *stomps foot and jitters*  
  
Jessica: Maybe later  
  
Twitch: *cries*  
  
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	2. The Perfect Thank You

Neanderthal, Chapter Two  
  
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I have come to the realization that my muse sucks and since creating him I have been totally blocked in the brain, so he's going to take an extended vacation! :-)  
  
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Dedication:: To Kitty. They will do each other soon! I think! Ha! You know I love you and I'll never forget you because we'll be together in hell! Everything we do is so great and you know I love ya! Did I already say that?  
  
Disclaimer:: I don't own Holes. Sorry. If I did I'd probably have it in an old yellow notebook in my garage... that's where all my writing ends up going. Oh well...  
  
Pairings:: Caveman/Zero  
  
Contact:: Currently, there are FIVE ways to contact me, meaning THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULDN'T!!! Firstly, you can review here, that is the most common way. Or I can be AOL instant messaged at *I Hug Squirrels*, without the stars. If you don't have aim, then you can email me at Happysushi1353@yahoo.com. Otherwise, feel free to comment in my Dead journal (link on bio) or Neo-Mail me, HappySushi1353 at neopets.com.  
  
Authors Notes:: READ VELOCITY! IT WORKS NOW! Yay! So check that out. Also, I plan on updating Cold for September by Friday, as well as Triangles and Bag of Tricks. I'll try and have a new story up by Wednesday, so bear with me!  
  
Date Typed:: February 18th  
  
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The trumpet rang the next morning, loud and clear, causing everyone to roll out of his bed groaning and yelling. Zero was the last one up, and had dark circles and bags underneath his eyes. The paper, filled with his spelling from last night was on his bed table, crisp and finished. Caveman walked over and smiled down at him.  
  
"I'm glad you're getting so into this," he smiled and sat next to him, pulling a work boot on, "You're gonna be reading novels in no time flat."  
  
Zero smiled and buttoned up his jump suit. They chattered mindlessly for a minute before heading out to the 'library' to get their shovels. As usual, the table set out with honey tortilla's sat, looming with breakfast. Caveman glared at them before grabbing one, licking the honey off his fingers. They set out, chewing the food and talking about girls, to the digging site.  
  
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Zero spat into his hole and walked over to where Caveman was still digging. His hole was only about three feet deep, and Zero tried not laughing. What was so hard about digging? He sat on the edge of Stanley's hole and watched him dig. Squid and Zig Zag finished next, and walked back to camp, walking awful close and pushing each other playfully. Next went X-Ray, Magnet and then Armpit. At last, they were alone.  
  
"Yo Caveman?"  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, looking up from his now 4 and a half foot hole, "What's up?"  
  
"I just wanted... to... thanks for helping read and write."  
  
"It's no problem buddy," he answered, wiping the sweat from the back of his neck, "I just wish that I wasn't so tired, or you could learn more."  
  
Zero nodded.  
  
"You want some help?"  
  
"No I'm all right..."  
  
Ignoring this, Zero jumped into the hole and started digging, throwing dirt in his own pile. He turned to look at caveman and realized that they were staring at each other.  
  
"Zero. Man. I'm confused. Don't hate me," said Caveman, looking at his shoes.  
  
Then he pushed Zero against the side of the hole and kissed him.  
  
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Ah! That sucked! Oh well... it was cute and fluffy and that's a pretty good cliffhanger, don't you think? Maybe I'll update tomorrow... I dunno... 


	3. Little Secrets

Chapter three is up now! *Holds APPLUASE sign up* Thanks for reading, and be sure to review! I hope to have a totally new story up by next Monday, we'll see how things go.  
  
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Dedication:: April, god Dammit, you make 6th hour much fun! I'm so sorry you can't come and see Yellowcard, just know I'll miss you when I'm there and you're not :-P I know this is your favoritest pairing of all, so here's one just for you, I can't wait until you get ours all typed up and pretty!  
  
Disclaimer:: I don't own Holes. Nor do I own The Song that I have them singing at the end, it's Christina Augleria or however you spell it.  
  
Contact:: You know the drill by now.  
  
Pairings:: Stanley/Hector and some hints of Squid/Zig Zag, just because I love them so much.  
  
Rating:: This one will be about PG-13, but I hope to bump the rating up to R about chapter 5. Rated for language, minor sexual content and mention of drug usage.  
  
Authors Note:: I do not want anybody to think I'm a homophobe, the gay jokes in this story are just what I think the big, tough guys would say when my stars 'come out' so don't accuse me of being a homophobe, or a bisexual. I remain neutral. On a lighter note, I hope to get reviewing more of your stories soon, I love reading them! Thanks for reading and be sure to give me a hoot if you wanna talk!  
  
Will not continue until:: I get 15 reviews! Come on people! If Cold For September can get *41* then this can surely get 15!!  
  
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A shadow was cast over the two boys, and Caveman pulled apart just in time to see Armpit standing over them, with his large mouth hanging open and a shovel in his hands.  
  
"Armpit!?" asked Caveman, stepping back from Zero and clenching his hands, "Don't tell anybody. We were just... talking. Yeah, that's it. We were just talking to each other and I was whispering in his ear and we were just coming apart and my lips accidentally brushed his and..."  
  
"Don't talk to me you damn dykes. I'll tell the camp."  
  
Then more shadows came up, from the other way. These shadows seemed to be connected, the stop short. Caveman and Zero could hear Squid and Zig Zag's voices.  
  
"Armpit! Zero! Caveman... uhhh... what are you guys doing here?" said Squid, almost nervously.  
  
Zero noticed that the shadow seemed to have broken apart, into two separate shadows. They shadows seemed to drift further apart every second.  
  
"Why you guys standing so close?" Zero heard Armpit ask suspiciously.  
  
"what are you talking about?" asked Squid, even though you could hear the lies drop from what he had just said, "what are you guys doing here anyway?"  
  
Had they been holding hands?  
  
"Making out," spat Armpit, throwing his shovel into the hole and walking away. "I'll keep your little secret as long as you stay the fuck away from me."  
  
"What secret?" asked Zig Zag, giving a confused look.  
  
"Nothing," said Zero quietly, climbing out of the hole, followed by Stanley.  
  
They walked back separately.  
  
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that night at dinner, Armpit didn't sit in his usual set next to Zero and X ray. Instead he sat at the far end of the table, by Magnet. Stanley kept throwing him nervous glances all through dinner, as if trying to make sure he wouldn't say anything. Zero was acting like his normal, stupid, quiet self.  
  
"What's you deal?" asked Magnet, secretly slipping a piece of bread off Armpits tray into his pocket, "and why do you keep staring at The Caveman? You in love or something?"  
  
"Naw."  
  
The rest of dinner passed by silently, and then Armpit went to the tent, trying so hard not to tell anybody about what he had seen earlier.  
  
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I know this chapter sucked major buns, but it's gets better, I promise. Maybe I'll get a couple chapters in tomorrow? We'll see. 15 reviews please! They can even be flames! I just love hearing that guy go, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!" and then seeing things from Fanfiction.net! 


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